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Granny Singing The Blues
1/23/2013 12:41:01 PM

By Beverly Gadson-Birch

  Congratulations are in order for our President. If we are ever going to have a “more perfect union” as our forefathers envisioned, we need to be work together for the common good of the country.  I spent the day listening to some of my fellow countrymen remarking on the President’s second term and what it meant to them.  One comment that rocked my boat was the one where the gentleman said he had a problem with the President being sworn in with a Bible because he still does not know where the President was born.  So, he wasn’t even interested in the events of the day.  He said he would just spend the day cleaning out his attic.  What was his point?  Why did he even waste the media’s time with such hogwash? Even if you are hating on the President, just keep it to yourself!  In the case of the caller, the attic is not the only thing he needs to clean up.  A person cannot be a college professor without having the proper credentials.  No one is allowed to operate on a heart patient without first having been certified as a surgeon.  And, a black man cannot be President of these United States without presenting an authentic birth certificate during the vetting process attesting to the fact that he was made in America.  Believe me when I tell you, there is absolutely no way that President Obama would have ever been sworn in without every stone being turned  upside down, inside out, sideways and around and around.


  I did not get to attend the inauguration this time around because I was readying myself for a role just as complicated and rewarding as that of the President.  And that’s one of being a grand mom. Having attended the first inauguration with over two million people, I knew I was going to regret not being in the number this time around.  It’s difficult to describe the emotions you feel standing on the grounds where history is being made. 


  I became a first time grand mom on New Year’s Day and nothing takes precedence over being a grandmother; or, at least that is what I’ve been told.  Frankly speaking, it’s all too new for me.  I have not even held a newborn baby in the past 40 years.  The reality of changing soiled diapers may be a little more than this granny bargained for. And what about being awakened from a peaceful night’s sleep with those eerie cries of hunger or wet diapers?  Do they still make glass baby bottles and the little thingamagig to clean the bottles?  Do they even use Carnation, Pet milk and Karo syrup for formulas?  What about those little jars of Gerber foods? And, I am sure my daughter-in-law would have me on the first thing smoking coming back to Charleston if she caught me chewing up the baby food before feeding junior. Augh, that is so nasty!  That’s what grannies did back in the day to process the baby food so they could swallow without choking on the food.  Oh, y’all young grannies don’t know anything about that.  I know I have been out of the baby business for a bit so I might need a little help from y’all more experienced grannies.   Those of you who are real grandmothers according to age, do they use the word “colic” when the baby has a stomach ache?  Do I need to enroll in parenting classes to prepare myself for the job of grandmother; or, do I have innate credentials certifying me as grandmother?


  Before Junior was born, I attended the baby shower.  Showers are becoming more and more elaborate these days.  It was a stark contrast to back in the day when friends just dropped off something at the house. 


  On the way home from the shower, my son and daughter-in-law chimed in and asked me am I up to date on my shots?  I asked why?  Y’all know I am not short on opinions so I am readying myself for their response.  My daughter-in-law sat mum while my son responded that “for the first few months of a baby’s life, you just can’t have people handling him without the proper shots”.  PEOPLE!!!  Is grandmother included in PEOPLE?  I don’t know if he was looking in the rear view mirror or not when my blood shot up to my brain telling my brain to buckle up.  I said “when you were born I did not ask folks to see their immunization records before they handled you and you turned out ok.”  Well, at least I thought so before now. That boy must have bumped his head if he thinks I am going to get any shots before handling junior.  Back in the day, even drunks got up in your baby’s face with liquor breath cooing and those kids turned out just fine.    So, I will be cooing junior without any additional shots.


  If I get barred from holding Junior for a couple of months because I failed to produce my immunization records, this granny will be singing the blues.  I guess just like the President, it all boils down to records.  Y’all have a great day, ya hear!




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