By Hakim Abdul-Ali
Today’s article is for grown up folk, so don’t get it mixed up with reckless naïveté or unscripted absurdities. No, this is an attempt in understanding a few of the prudent traumas and emotional changes occurring in some of our daily lives at this very moment.
I had a provocative experience recently where I learned something about a subject that I hold near and dear, and it’s about the topic of love. This inspiring arena was brought vividly to my mind’s eye by a lady of color who, unbeknownst to me, is a devoted reader of my columns over the years.
Believe it or not, I met, or should I say correctly, I encountered her coming out of a store late one evening about a week ago. She instantly recognized me, introduced herself and said she had something she wanted to “run” pass me, if I didn’t mind listening to what she had to say.
I, of course, told her that I would and, to my surprise, she said she wanted my views about she could (spiritually) handle a broken-hearted, distressing feeling about a relationship she was in that no longer existed. Now feeling totally depressed, she said it was her fault because she cheated, got caught in the act, but she still desired to be with and loved by her former mate.
Listening to this lady made me think of love’s real calling, and for many it has been always been an elusive object of desirous intoxications. No matter the sex, nationality, gender, ethnicity, or age, the quest of bona fide love, in some shape or manner of expression, has been and will forever be the centerpiece of desires for one and all, just as it was for the lady, who inadvertently stopped me that night.
As I attempted to explain to the lady that “to love and be loved in return” is becoming as complex as trying to figure new ways to solve the latest Rubik cube algorithms. So, if you think about it, as I told the lady to do, each one of us in “hue-manity” should know that deep down within all of our inner cores, we all know that finding utopian love, without a doubt, is a longing that makes the world go round.
This lady, who was I rapping with, told me about her lost love, and she really was still exemplifying that longing, even though her current (regretful) romantic situation was a hurting one, an apparent lost cause as she put it. I tried to tell her, objectively speaking, that “everything happens for a reason,”and that the very important thing that she could gain from this episode in her life was, and is, to move on with her life.
Sometimes, the truth hurts, and it’s been said that one of the hardest things to overcome in life on this “hue-man” plane of existence is dealing with a broken heart. Again, I gently tried to remind this lady that “life’s experiences over time are the best teachers” and that some folk are just not meant to live and be together forever in 21st century Camelot, or even in Babylon west.
That rather succinct analogy from me to her wasn’t meant to be cryptic or callous. I only meant it for her to be able to realize that attachments don’t really exist, or bloom, when certain key ingredients in the so-called love game are vacant and missing in action.
Before continuing, I feel compelled to ask you, “Do you know what the lady was going through, or has a lost love, or two, ever torched your heart and soul with solemn regrets of “I wish, or I should have?” I do, and in my present mind-set, “To Seek Love is for All to Feel,” and I think you know that that’s something you can wish for everyone.
Whatever the scenario(s) from your past that causes you to reflect intently on that aforementioned pulsating question, the fact remains that seeking (true) love is an inescapable “hue-manistic” phenomenon that sets all of us ablaze with feelings of euphoria and comforting rhapsodies at various times in our lives. To seek and find those magical combinations is an unequivocal blissful experience in all of their evolving states of wondrous elations.
When anyone, including me, you and others know that “To Seek Love is for All to Feel,” we mustn’t, nor should we, play with another’s heart, soul, body and mind. Do you know the intricacies behind what I just said? If you do, then seeking love requires being upfront, frank and high-minded, and that’s exactly as I directed it to the lady.
I believe that we should never, ever play with another’s emotions like you’re juggling a puppet on a string as some deceitful, silly folk do? It can lead to disaster in alliances causing harm to anyone’s once ideally happy concept of a harmonious, indivisible union in the game of love because once it’s gone, you may never, ever retrieve same again.
I told the lady that life is about understanding that it sometimes tells us so much more about minute things in the love game that we may have taken for granted, especially when they were previously present before us. Also, I tried referencing that point by illustrating to her that, by looking inwardly, her situation with her (now) former relationship probably was and could be classified as such.
Life’s teachings are real, and I told the lady that to say that you love someone, it shouldn’t be shown with transparent glazes of inconsistencies and hypocrisies. The lifestyles that some folk live today exposes those souls to living a lie in the love game, but that’s not real love. “As I See It,” the concept of “To Seek Love for All to Feel” is about sharing and caring, under marital bonds, and not to play with stupid, mindless games of deceptive charades.
You see, real love doesn’t exist if you can’t realize that “to feel and be in love” must be on a valued and trusted basis, and many times in today’s society, it’s not on equal footings of sharing and caring. This philosophy is little difficult for some “hue-mans” to grasp, maybe even for the lady, who I was speaking to that night, because some of our minds and some of our self-absorbed feelings play tricks on our thoughts, feelings and emotions in so many instances when we least expect it. No one likes to be lied to.
In conclusion, breaking it down as best I can to you, as I did to the lady, I say to you, as I said to her, that I’m not an expert in the so-called love game. But through careful and studious observations over many years, I don’t see, nor know of, many souls today who are qualified couples, because I see a lot of cheating, lonely, desperate and unhappy souls meandering about in their day-to-day dramas, forever seeking real love, but never feeling it. Ouch!
Call me an old school thinker, if you will, but I believe that genuine love grows expediently where respect for honesty and trust are mutually exhibited between committed souls with sincerity and devotion in any and all authentic relationships. I related this to the lady, and she, obligingly, said she understood. Do you?
Sadly, I don’t see those committed, trusted long term virtues in many marital platforms today because many marriages are crumbling like fallen dominoes. And seeking real love is now being deluded with whimsical choices as pseudo-mates and as Band-Aid stand-ins for the real wannabe things.
Listening to the lady, sort of, led me to write “To Seek Love for All to Feel.” I asked her permission to write this grown folk message. She consented, and I hope you got, or get, something from it.
So, if you’re seeking true love, or already have found it, remember the bottom line is to put all of your trusting affections and forthright feelings into that treasured relationship, or “stay out of it.” Love grows where faith exists. Lies and distrust destroys everything. For today and always, that’s, “As I See It.”