Victoria’s Column: Marriage, Dating and Self-Love

Dear reader,

Relationships are hard. They require mutual care and attention, selflessness and the ability to sacrifice.

The past 18 months have been some of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. I gained a husband and lost someone else. I found God and, through that, am finding myself.

I decided to start a column because at this point in my life I have finally started to understand relationships are everything—relationships with family, friends, a spouse, community and the relationship with self.

As we delve into this sensitive, intimate subject matter please be kind and know these opinions are mine and we do not have to agree. Through this column I plan to explore dating, marriage, friendship and self-care. I will share stories from my life and from the lives of others. They will all be true, though I may change names or details out of respect for the delicacy of these topics.

Though we cannot rely on others to make us happy, relationships can be a source of great joy. They can enhance experiences in the journey of life. How is your relationship with you? Are you allowing yourself to rest for a little while every day? Do you scold yourself when you make mistakes or sulk when you fall short of your goals? Can you trust your judgement and ability to resist temptation? Do you love yourself the way you would want someone else to love you?

It’s okay to answer honestly. In fact, honesty is the best place to start and sometimes the truth is as simple as “I don’t know.”

You were made with a wonderful purpose in mind and for that you must love yourself. Part of your purpose is to nurture and care for other people. I will encourage selflessness a lot here, but trust me when I say caring about your personal wellbeing is not selfish.

I’ll close how I opened this introduction to my column—relationships are hard. You will get out of them what you put in and when you’re up against conflicts remember to check yourself first.

Welcome to my column.

Sending light,

Victoria