Character Never Goes Out Of Style

By Beverly Gadson-Birch

Within the past couple of months, two women were associated with men who had recently been charged with a crime.  Ladies, we need to talk! Is it worth going to jail for Mr. Cool, pants sagging, drug pushing, still living with momma pimp? Think about it! Relationships aren’t made in heaven, marriages are.  Through relationships, we get to know the person we hope to spend the rest of our lives with.   Sometimes it works out and sometimes it just doesn’t. Do not lower your standards to be in a relationship because you think your biological clock is ticking down.  It is better that your biological clock ticks down than to have children with a loser that ticks you off. You must know when to count your losses and move on.

Don’t worry too much about the time “invested” into a relationship. If you must walk away, walk! When you think back over what you invested into the relationship and what you received, be thankful for higher return.   There is always something in the back of your mind that lets you know when something in the relationship isn’t right.  When the relationship takes a nosedive, be careful.  You not only have to know when to quit but how to quit. Every relationship is different. Don’t think you know all there is to know about a person.  There are crazies out there that rather see you dead than with someone else. Be careful how you exit a relationship!

Life is about making informed decisions.  This article is intended to improve lives.   If you really want to live, listen up women; stay away from losers.  This is not about male bashing; it’s about staying away from negative influences and out of jail. Read on, there are some really good men out there looking for good ladies.

Keep it real!  You can’t date Joe for ten years then drop him like a hot potato when fast talking, marijuana smoking, sports car riding John comes on the scene. Unlike Joe, John is one of those smooth, short sleeve muscle flexing, shiny head, six pack hulks that you can’t wait to get up with. He is that knight in shining amour that you had been dreaming about.   Joe has lost some of his flavor over the years but his financial support and presence have been steady.  Since sweet talking John came on the scene, Joe can’t do anything right. You don’t like the way Joe dresses.   He isn’t fly enough.  He doesn’t want to go out anymore.

You tolerated Joe because he is a hard worker who doesn’t shun his responsibilities.  Joe pays the rent, pays the car note and takes you shopping. But no, that’s not enough for you anymore. After several weeks into the relationship, you come to your senses that John just looks good, smells good and is no good but you just love being with him.  So, you sweet talk Joe into taking you back.  You promised Joe that the relationship is over.  Really?   You are playing Joe for his money but loving John.  You like Joe’s stability because his name is “man”. He provides for you and the children.  But, on the other hand, you like that good ole sweet loving, sports car, bustin’ the sag John. You can’t make a decision; so, you play both.  You are playing a dangerous game.  The next thing you know you are in over your head with Cool John.  Cool John robs a bank while you wait outside in the car.  When picked up by the police Cool John implicates you in the robbery and off to jail you go.  Your life is spinning out of control.   

Stop and think ladies!  Is there a defining point in your life when you stop playing games with men? How far are you willing to go? to prison?  Your deceitful past is bound to catch up with you.  Mothers, spend time with your children! Your children are the best investment you can ever make. You are investing in potential engineers, doctors, teachers, nurses, etc.  You do your children a disservice when you invest more time in a relationship than in them.  Spend time training your daughters to be ladies and your sons gentlemen.  When did responsible parenting become “old fashioned” or “outdated”?  Character never goes out of style.  It only improves with age.

Ladies, y’all know better.  Leave those zeros alone until they get to at least an 8 to 10.  Do not lower the bar.  Do the math! Zero from zero leaves, what? ZERO.

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