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It Never Hurts to Say "I'm Sorry"
6/7/2017 1:38:37 PM

By Hakim Abdul-Ali

I'm writing this because a young Euro-American lady who reads my article regularly stopped me last week and asked me to offer my thoughts about something that was bothering her. I could tell she was in a real depressed zone, and it was hard for me to get her thoughts to together to me exactly what was going on.

I could tell the topic was a painful and difficult one for her because it dealt with heartbreak and heartache. Who hasn't been there a time or two? Have you?

As I listened, I sensed that there was something else that was going on in her head, heart and mind. It was clear that her soul was aching and that she was dealing with a broken-hearted affair, and I do believe that she was the culprit.

It came out that she was, and she told me that she had cheated on "her gentleman friend," as she soberingly described him. She was discovered in her self-created web of lies and deceitful actions, and her trek to fantasy land and escapism through and in a seemingly clandestine affair ended in dark bitterness and now tormented misery.

The young lady, now full of remorseful tears, asked me how she could tell the rejected "gentleman friend" that she really, really loved him and no one else. She wanted, in anyway possible, if I could aid her in telling this guy how sorry she was and letting him know how much she wanted one more opportunity to prove to him that she was worthy of his trust, if not his overall respect.

That's a tall order for anyone to attempt to jump into with sanity as a guide to emotional cleansing and healing, so I stepped back and said the following. I told her everyone, sometimes, plays the role of a fool, with no offense intended.

I told her that love doesn't really love anyone, especially if one, or the other, is telling another one a lie, and you're unhappy in a relationship. I said, "You've got to be honest with who you are, but it does take two souls to do the Tango dance called 'Love Me Forever', but it only takes one person to be a lonely fool, again, when unwanted love doesn't really love someone."

Ouch! That's some powerful stuff if you breakdown what I just said in a clearly rational way of thinking. What some ethnic "colored" folk of every created ethnicity call love is in reality "situational like." Do you understand that term?

The young lady admitted she didn't. I told her, sometimes, you see we carelessly substitute a yearning for the real love connection for "short term like." Is that a little better to comprehend?

Saying I'm sorry really says a lot to a lot of miserable folk because they've probably been to heartbreak and back, and now that they've truly discovered that seeking love is a real intrinsic journey of the utmost kind. "Long term love" is definitely an everlasting spiritual lasting bond and not a momentary flirtation with " short term like."

There's a big difference. It was hard to say that to the young lady because it seems to, and among so many folk today, both male and female, that they don't have a remote clue about the difference between "real spiritual loving commitments" and "situational fantasy likes" aspects of realities.

Desiring love among the deceitful "hue-man" barracudas of today can be a difficult swim through the uncharted waters of eternal happiness. Don't be a fool and before you have to say you're sorry for an elicit affair, check yourself.

Remember that cheaters, deceivers and liars are everywhere and until you understand that, you may have to pay an unnecessary heavy emotional price to regain your spiritual sanity after "short term like" in the guise of "fantasy love" has gone south of where you want to be. That's why I wonder if these slicks and cheaters really know what they are doing. Do you?

Sometimes, I also wonder whether some of these cheaters really understand that life is not about playing mind games, especially with each other's hearts, emotions and feelings. That's a difficult lesson to understand if you think being slick and covert puts you in the driver's seat of love's deception. Some folk sadly do.

I took my time in bringing this subject to the young lady because I knew the she was still agonizing and in distress, and that she really is a nice and decent soul. But there's something going on with young (and older) folk when they begin to want to sew their oats outside of the vow of marriage.

Listen, there's no other way than to say it like this-simply don't cheat. If you're unhappy and you can't work it out in a relationship and attempts to work it out fail, then go your separate ways, and do that, for God's sake, in peace.

I told that to young lady, and she said the guy she cheated on had wanted to marry her, and she took him for granted because she thought she could do anything to him and that he would still be there. That was his past pattern, so she thought, but this time, the last laugh appearing this time was (tragically) on her it seems. Who's sorry now?

Hmm! I related to her that maybe she should give it some time and then try to reach out to the guy and see whether saying I'm sorry works. I couldn't (and wouldn't) offer anymore than that.

I hope that you're not in this dilemma either because this message is only grown folk food for thought, and for today, that's, "As I See It."

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