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Love's Missing Unit
1/11/2017 2:56:29 PM

By Hakim Abdul-Ali 

In today's worlds of perpetual uneventful twists and emotional unexpected turns, you, oftentimes, see that there's a shortage of truly happy and compassionate beings. It seems that society-at-large, in certain spheres, is seeking comfort in the reality of someone else's fake validation of the other's importance.

I was thinking about that and why so many desirous folk seem to end up on the undersides of the love milieus with no understanding of exactly happened to cause their negative maladies called loneliness and misery. Like sad sagas from the lowest depths of despair and anguish, many folk in today's love realms may have sought and are still seeking attachments in all the wrong places.

That brings me to a scenario recently when a soul "sista," who reads "The Chronicle" on occasion, recognized me and asked me to put some thoughts together to address what she was feeling. Needless to say, she was dealing with a broken heart as a result of her fiancé abandoning her in a painful manner. Ouch! I told her I couldn't respond to that because her thoughts and feelings were her own, but I, probably like some others, knew what it felt like to be in that isolated space at one time or the other. I did mention to her that sometimes love is and can be a hurting reality, wrought with traumatic, lonely corridors of distresses.

As I continue, I'm just reflecting on what I'm sensing now because I believe every sincere soul goes through life looking for that "special" one to balance, or complement, him or her. Call it what you want, but love is a fanciful thing to experience and to be a part of a worthwhile relationship is a utopian joy. Real love between two trustfully committed and spiritually inclined souls is the stuff that makes "hue-man" creation come alive for all to astoundingly see, and there's nothing like it in my book. So, I'm only throwing out some vibes to you, the young "sista" and others about what I feel about the absolute beauty of what real love is supposed to be about.

I'm no expert at this because finding true love is a lifelong treasure hunt, which is a complicated task unto itself for many "colored" folk in "hue-manity," including me. But, I do know that, no matter where you live or hide, to be truly in love with some one who loves you in return is a supreme feeling of bliss that does and will last a lifetime.

There's nothing like the true love between a husband and wife, and vice versa. So why do things, once considered unshakable and unbreakable and in apparent symmetry, go south of unity so quickly. Hmm! The answer should be food for personal reflections among the crestfallen and, maybe, it's the missing ingredient to solving the mysterious, long lasting stability secret which lies in the disappearance and the loss of respect for one another.

Listen very carefully because whenever respect, an illusive peripheral, is applied, it could save many of today's shaky and troublesome relationships and possibly could make them better. No one wins when a heart is broken and a family is destroyed because "love," or lack thereof, didn't love anyone in the first place.

Think closely about that scenario. I do, because I've come to realize that life is a progressive inspiration in learning from our errors in all affairs. That recognition helps me grasp the universal knowledge that each new moment yields an opportunity to get better in all aspects of our lives, including the game of love.

Maybe, I'm out of sync by addressing this serious topic as, and by calling love relationships, a game, but I feel adequately on point in saying that because I do believe, in some colored folks' minds, love is likened to a nonchalant game of sort, without proper rules of self-conduct. Is that too strong for you to handle? I hope not. Hey, I have no idea exactly where all this is leading to today except that I hope that it leads to more respect for your spouse, or prospective wife or husband. The idea of marriage is a supreme reality when all factions involved know that love is not a game, but rather a team effort.

It's cohesively beautiful when there's that common groovy flow of respect and camaraderie between husband and wife in any marriage filling the air with peace and harmony. That's the way I remember how the older folks in yesteryears' Black America exhibited what true loving relationships were about. It seems that even through their countless hardships of life, they still demonstrated respect for each other, even during the storms of their lives. Somehow, I don't see that as much today, and l'm not an unobservant youngster at this point in my life.

At times, life's experiences can leave many of us with somebody else's lonely tracks of (their) heartbreaking tears on our minds and souls with no explanations. Sadly, that's going to happen in this thing we call love.That's what, in essence, I told the young "sista," who I know apparently was hurting. I also tried to relate that "sometimes love doesn't love anyone who doesn't really love you back the way you desire." It's sad, but so true.

Do you know where I'm coming from with my flow today? I, again, hope so because, sometimes, we must understand that we all can, and do, play the unwanted fool in this mystifying collaboration called love. Many times, to some impetuous folk, it's all a masquerade, especially if they don't know that love can't be real when you lie to yourself about what you really, truly want from a relationship. That's difficult for some witless ethnicities to decipher because they may be in "the game" for all the wrong reasons.

The process of being involved in a committed relationship is one that requires mutual regard, maturity and integrity, which leads to love's total solidarity in any true relationship. "To thine own self one should be true." For today and always, that's, "As I See It."


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Submitted By: REDA Submitted: 1/12/2017

Submitted By: REDA Submitted: 1/12/2017

Submitted By: REDA Submitted: 1/12/2017

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