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Parents: We Have A Problem
10/26/2016 2:52:19 PM

By Beverly Gadson-Birch

Am I wrong to expect parents to be responsible in establishing rules and perimeters for their children? You can call me “old-fashioned” because I graduated from the “old school”. There was nothing wrong with the “old school” then and there is nothing wrong with it now. Let’s not get the old school confused with a building. The old school were the lessons taught by parents and anyone old enough to be a parent.

Some elders may have been lacking a formal education but they made up for it with wisdom and good old common sense. The old school taught basic family values and instilled valuable work ethics. There was no question as to whether or not one would accept the teaching and training of the elders. It was either you listened and lived or acted like a fool and got tore up from the floor up. The punishment was far greater than the crime, so I thought; but somehow you survived. You thought you had the worst parents in the world until you started sharing your experiences with friends and found out that your “butt whippings” were a piece of cake compared to theirs.

Many “Baby Boomers” came up poor and disadvantaged but made it in spite of. It was all about determination. Then you got married and were equally as determined to make something out of your children. And, you did. So, am I missing something when today’s parents are expected to be just as assertive in rearing their children as parents in the past? I don’t accept the hogwash that this is a new day. Every day is a new day. Sure, you must move forward but there are just some things you need to take forward with you. Discipline is one. Responsibility is another. No one wants to discipline and no one wants to accept responsibility.

We still have children shooting children because gun advocates hide behind the Second Amendment. What’s lacking in our young people today is plain old common sense. And parents, you need to use common sense as well if you have a gun in the home. Monsters are living in your homes and eating your food and you have no control over them.

How can that be? Teens are packing pistols and roaming the streets at night. So where are the parents? We are asking for trouble when children are allowed to hang in the streets after the street lights come on. That was “old schoolers” established curfew time. It worked then and it should still work for the children of today. Terrible things happen to children when parents abandon their responsibilities.

When the truth is told, many violent incidents or deaths can be linked to drugs and overage students that have dropped out of school. Lock your doors but be sure you lock the bad elements outside. Some of you are living with monsters that you fear but you won’t put them out for fear of retaliation. You know Johnny is selling drugs but the money is good; so, you cover up for Johnny by making excuses.

You try to convince your friends that Johnny is really a good boy or Sha’nae nae is a good girl. You tell your friends that Johnny bought the Lexus you are driving with his check from the fast food restaurant where he works. When your friend tells you he has never seen your son at the “Full Of Grease Chicken Shack”, you counter with Johnny works on the night shift. The cover up continues to grow until one day Johnny ends up dead and his rap sheet is exposed in the news.

Too many parents are depending on the school and church to raise their children. Well, maybe not the church because if you took your child there, I am sure “Reb” would be happy to work with him. Ultimately, you are responsible for the way your child turns out—not the school, not “Reb”, not the deacon, not the Bishop and not the neighbor.
If your child brings a gun home, you can’t blame the person for selling them the gun.

Blame your child because you should have taught them to run away from trouble. If your child is on drugs, don’t blame the drug pushers. Blame your child because you should have taught your child that there are only two outcomes from drug involvement—death or prison. If for some reason your child becomes a victim of drugs, get help immediately. Don’t give up on your child!

The worst thing you can do is support your child when you know he/she is wrong. You be the parent! The role of a parent is an awesome one. If you don’t have the time to parent then you have one responsible choice to make and that is don’t have children. Simple!! It takes time to be a parent. It takes love. It takes patience. It takes commitment. A parent must be committed to guiding a child from the cradle to adulthood and even then, you must be there for advice when they ask for it. Never relinquish your authority or responsibility as a parent to someone else.

When you become a parent, you are in it for the long haul. Don’t let your children wreak havoc upon a community whose people have the right to live their life without fear.

I challenge the Mayors and Police Departments in the state of SC to be serious in eradicating drugs from our communities and to create jobs and opportunities for young people. I know I am not the only one who is sick and tired of the senseless killings in our communities.

I challenge the school districts to provide more career-oriented education for those students seeking that option. The administration has got to put more teeth in the laws to fight drugs and crimes. Politicians know that the major causes of crime are the influx of drugs into black neighborhoods, inequities in education, poor and inadequate housing, low paying jobs and the disproportionate distribution of wealth (moolah). When combined, these factors create an unhealthy environment. Drug kingpins hide out in palatial homes surrounded by high fences and 24 hour armed protection. Have y’all ever seen anything like that in the black community? So, if y’all serious about this thing, tell the Mayor and Chief to start at the top and work their way down. Law enforcement officials will never be successful approaching the problem from the bottom up. There are more users and small time dealers at the bottom than at the top. It’s like a snake. If you kill the head, the tail will eventually die.

Parents, we have a problem. Are y’all listening?

Visitor Comments

Submitted By: Kyle Submitted: 10/28/2016
Prohibition worked really well for alcohol. I'm sure it'll eventually work for drugs too.

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